The most googled phrase that drives traffic to my blog is “I´m not beautiful”. I don´t know how many women and girls worldwide are googling that phrase and I´m just getting a few hundreds of them clicking on my blog. I also don´t know if they come here looking for ways to enhance their looks or if they here seeking comfort.
If you´re trying to enhance your looks by reading my blog, I´m sorry, it´s not going to happen, this is not that type of blog where I teach you how to contour, or how to dress for your shape. This is not that kind of place.
However, I did start getting into the mindset of these women who see themselves in the mirror and decide they don´t like what they see. I never really suffered from self-esteem issues until a few months ago. I´m an average looking woman. I don´t stand out because I´m beautiful and I don´t stand out because I´m horrible looking either, I´m just an average “Jane” walking around this earth, and I was alright with that, it didn´t really steal my sleep at night. Until… I started making the mistakes that I believe many girls and women are making out there and it is what´s making them feel ugly.
You want to feel ugly, do these things and you´ll accomplish just that.
Spend Endless Hours Looking at Beautiful People
OK so my job required me to spend many hours lurking around beauty blogs and beauty Instagrammer accounts, but this time I really started to see them more closely. I was spending several hours a month just going from site to site and from one Instagram account to the next. Always looking at gorgeous looking women who are flawless and have such “easy” lives thanks to their wonderful genes.
This, of course, made me realize that my looks were pretty average. I suddenly started noticing that my skin tone was not even, my pores were too large, my hairline was not even, my hair was not luscious, my body did not look like theirs in a bikini and the list goes on. I actually started feeling ugly, which is sooooo unlike me! Again, not because I´m some freaken Gigi Hadid, but because I simply didn´t care how I looked, but now I was on a mission to make myself feel ugly!
Compare Yourself with Other Women
Of course! It was inevitable for me not to compare myself with these girls. Obviously, the majority are 10, 13 years younger than I am, and for some reason, I was feeling left behind for not being able to look 17 or 21 years old.
I also started comparing my body, skin, facial features and so on with these people who are considered beautiful by the masses. By comparing myself to them I realized that I didn´t look like them and so I thought I looked ugly. Pretty foolish huh? Trying to look like someone else so you can be considered beautiful.
Stare at The Mirror and Look for Flaws
I usually look at the mirror just to make sure that I´m presentable to go out and that I don´t have pillow marks on my cheeks. But I was motivated to make myself look ugly. So I started really focusing in the mirror to see what I didn´t like. For the first time in my life, I noticed that my hairline on one side of my forehead was more prominent than in the other side.
Needless to say, after looking at photographs from when I was 15 years old I realized it had always looked that way, but this time I had an agenda! I had to find every single thing that was not considered normal and beautiful by society so I could make myself feel ugly. Guess what?? I found A LOT of things. If you look, you will find! So STOP looking!
I Started Feeling Bad for Aging
Suddenly it surprised me that I looked 30 years old and not 20. Why God, why?!!!!!! Because aging is inevitable. But of course, we live in a youth-driven society. The beauty industry makes aging women feel like shit for growing older, they do this with the intention of selling their products that promise to make you look younger but in reality, they don´t do shit. So here I was, considering spending a few hundred dollars on anti-aging products from some fancy label that promised to take 10 years off my face. I´m fucking 31! I will never look 20 again and that´s ok because I´m not 20!
Fall for The Idea of What You “Should” Look Like
Every so years comes a new “It girl” or “it girls” that are highly advertised by the media to show young girls and women what beauty is supposed to look like. It is a perception that´s incrusted in our heads about what the beauty trend is now. These girls are generally chosen by the media, social media or fashion industry not only to promote their products but also to promote a certain look. If you fall for this idea of what you´re “expected” to look like, trust me! You WILL feel ugly!
After a month or so about worrying about my looks and having other more important things to worry about I came to terms with what I look like. I stopped obsessing over the tiniest thing and just went on with my life as an average “Jane”. I won´t deny it, my pores could be smaller, because they are gigantic, but I´m simply not obsessing over that anymore. Yes! Some women´s lives seem a lot easier because winning the genetic lotto opens many doors to business ventures. But a clever and smart woman can open other doors in other ways. Physical beauty might make life easier in some ways, but it doesn’t necessarily make someone happier.