This story goes for both genders, because we both tend to fall for the negative aspects of The Fairy Tale dream that can become a nightmare and steal happiness and joy from our lives.
Girls, especially, form the majority of victims from the Fairy Tale Syndrome. Our first experience with partnership love comes from Disney fairy tales; Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Lion King, The Little Mermaid…
At least my generation (generation Y) grew up watching these films, which depict an unreal idea of love —- and in many cases a hazardous and dangerous idea of love.
As time went by, Disney slowed down on the whole “princess and prince” story. However, Hollywood and book writers got a feast from portraying the same storyline with slightly different characters, like Bella from Twilight or Anastasia from Fifty Shades Of Grey.
The main structure of the story goes something like this:
- Woman (regardless of her economical circumstances) meets man and they fall in love within MINUTES.
- Man fights shortcomings to rescue woman (princess).
- They live happily ever after.
Now, lets jump to their characteristics:
- She is generally poor but on rare occasions rich, like in the case of Ariel (The Little Mermaid).
- Physically beautiful or plain looking.
- Kind to animals.
- Is in need of recue.
- She can´t help herself
- Stupid and naive
- Willing to help princess
Now that we’ve covered the characteristics and the storyline and noticed the similarities lets jump to the good stuff.
Women go out in search of men that depict the perception of what a “perfect” man should be. Of course, there’s nothing wrong in wanting to date a man that’s rich and handsome, however many other more important characteristics can be overlooked like hardworking, kind, funny, sweet, faithful and spiritually similar to your beliefs.
A woman can meet a man she would actually love and adore but will subconsciously ignore him because he doesn’t meet her unrealistic expectations. Maybe he covers all the characteristics that she’s looking for, but he’s ugly and loves her immensely so he wont save her when she can save herself.
That’s the thing; thanks to Hollywood women are on the wrong lane and think that they need saving, when each and every woman holds the power within to save herself.
Movies like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey have sent the very hazardous message of controlling men that rule over a woman’s will and wishes as something desirable, and women around the world fell for this negative behavior that can cause some very serious issues in a relationship. It is an unhealthy portrayal of love.
Whenever I hear friends moaning about not finding love, I can’t help but ask, “what are you looking for”? Sadly, they describe a character in a movie. Sometimes the only thing they don’t mention is someone who doesn’t fart and poop.
Do you want the harsh truth? You probably already know it; there is NO SUCH THING AS THE PERFECT MAN. I’m not saying that you should settle for a lazy junky that scratched his belly in front of the T.V. and kicks puppies on the street. But, there is no such thing as the perfect man.
Sometimes what you have to look for are flaws that you are willing to live with. A man can seem perfect but there will always be a “thing” to him that you wont like. However, you have to think, is that “thing” something you could live with?
Or how many defects does he have that you are simply not willing to put with? The truth of the matter is that there is no Edward Cullen, and there might be a few Christian Grey’s but do you really want someone who wont let you live up to your full potential and figure things out for yourself?
You shouldn’t want to be a Disney Princess. They can´t do anything for themselves except clean.
Sadly, it’s a mold many women have adopted, hoping it will land them prince charming. They will play the helpless, stupid, needing saving character and what it lands them is a “wanna-be Prince Charming.”
They get their happy wedding but not always a happily ever after. When things get real, when time goes by, women and men come to realize the banalities they were looking for in their partners and divorce becomes inevitable.
Men, just like women, have also fallen victims to the Fairy Tale charade. They tend to look for a woman who is pretty, stupid and needing of saving, and… as time goes by so does physical beauty. They realize that stupidity is not a nice characteristic to have with someone you are “spending” the rest of your life with, conversations grow boring and saving someone all the time gets old.
Everyone needs saving from time to time, but making it a daily habit grows tiring.
Bottom line: Life is not a fairy tale, women fart and poop and we don’t look flawless forever. Men can get lazy and they don’t all come rich and handsome. If they do they might also have some pretty nasty flaws that you don’t want anywhere near you.
Life WILL throw you challenges; you want a partner that not only makes life easier but that also makes it happier and challenging at the same time, someone you can grow with in every sense of the word. There will be bad times in even the best relationships, however, is it a relationship you want to fight for? If a relationship makes you happier than sad, then I would say you’re on the right track.
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com