You’re not ugly. I know me saying this is going to do little to lift your self-esteem. But keep reading, I’m sure that you’ll think differently when you finish reading this story.

I’m tired, I’m so fucking tired of reading comments and messages of women who keep telling themselves that they’re ugly because they don’t fit the predetermined standard of beauty that was established by Hollywood as well as the fashion and beauty industries.

A prototype that is so difficult for us women to identify with, but that we’ll do anything and spend everything to try and live up to it.

No! You’re not fat, you’re not ugly, you’re butt is perfect, your breasts are perfect, your skin is fine, your hair is lovely whether it’s curly or straight, short or long is just perfect. Your body is lovely, your nose is beautiful, those wrinkles in your face look great, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY. Because…

Everything that you are is what makes you extraordinary.

It is so weird how everyone wants to stand out, but at the same time they all want to look the same. They follow fashion trends to look like other women, they get thick lips, tiny waist, big round butt, big breasts, small nose, perfect wrinkle-less skin, thick long hair, perfect flat tummy, slim arms and perfect nails.

How could you possibly stand out when you’re doing everything in your power to look like some else? That is not what you were meant to look like and what you are my dear, that is beauty.

The most expensive purse in the world is an exotic Hermes purse, made with crocodile skin and incrusted with white diamonds. Why is it so expensive? Because it is unique, it is one of a kind. (please don’t buy fur or leathers, I just needed to get my point across I DO NOT want to promote cruelty towards animals).

What is it that makes a brand exclusive and expensive? That it’s not made for the masses; they carry unique and exclusive designs only for delicate and knowledgeable taste. When you purchase these brands you know you wont see a million girls wear your same dress, shoes or purse. And that is what makes it desirable; Exclusivity and UNIQUENESS.

Michael Kors´ doom came when his “exclusive” purses became purchased by the masses. They weren’t exclusive anymore, they became ORDINARY.

I feel bad using a woman to get my point across, however, it is a woman whom I don’t respect.

Kim Kardashian has become the predetermined perception of beauty. She however, is everything that ugliness represents. Unauthentic, fake, useless, meaningless and unnecessary. A woman who doesn’t care about the fake and hazardous message she’s spreading around the world. A cruel woman who wears fur, regardless of the suffering of animals and she does it with the sole purpose of vanity!

A woman who holds no value but her artificial beauty, no charming personality, no intellect, no talent, no courage, a woman who portrays herself as a complete materialistic, vain idiot. Is this your idea of beauty?

Why you DO NOT want to look like her

Because she doesn’t look how she’s meant to look, she’s had a lot of plastic surgery, she wears tons of makeup and she pretty much lives solely for her looks.

Painting over a Monet to make it look like Van Gogh would ruin the painting. It would make it unauthentic, fake, useless, meaningless and unnecessary.

Hollywood and the fashion and beauty industries have spent BILLIONS of dollars to make you want to look like someone else.

They have carefully designed a difficult stereotype that women would struggle to identify with, so they could make YOU want to look like that and spend money on their useless products. Whether it’s the body of a supermodel, extremely skinny, or Kim Kardashian, extremely curvy.

As you can see, beauty parameters are generally dictated by someone.

In China, having small feet used to be considered beautiful and women went through great pain and suffering to achieve that. In Myanmar long necks are considered beautiful, so women put rings on their neck to make them longer.

The reality is that if you’re expecting for the world to view you as beautiful, you’ll spend you’re entire life feeling ugly. The fashion and beauty industries might have established a beauty design of what a woman has to look like, however, different countries, cultures, times and ethnicities break this perception.

So… you want to look beautiful for the western world. Why? So you can be viewed as an object of desire. So you can have men’s attention? Do you really want the attention of someone who cares solely about what you look like? Do you really want the attention of someone so worthless who only cares about the superficial exterior of your being?

Do you want envy from other women? Why? Physical beauty only goes so far and then other more important qualities kick in. A woman who is just physically perceived as beautiful because she has followed a pre-established design of beauty, is everything BUT beautiful. It doesn’t show beauty, it shows low self-esteem and THAT my friend is NOT beautiful.

CONFIDENCE is one of the most beautiful traits a woman can have. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what you’re wearing or the size of your breasts.

Let me tell you, I have breasts the size of almonds; I have pimples and wrinkles AT THE SAME TIME! My hair is not perfect, my body is not considered perfect, my butt has cellulite that looks like cottage cheese, but then I think “cottage cheese is delicious” and so I feel like my butt looks delicious and OH MY GOD do I walk like I own it.

I’ve heard MULTIPLE times how ugly I look, but you know what? I feel sorry for those people who have such a repressed mindset that inhibits them from seeing further than what someone else told them to see. They have dead minds that live for someone else and what’s even sadder is the level of stupidity these people carry in their sad minds. They are the type that will buy high-end labels because they’re unique and exclusive, but they’ll look at a woman that looks different and label her as ugly.

When I look at myself in the mirror and think for a second that I’m not beautiful, I look at the T.V. and remember the words of those people and think “fuck you, I’m smoking hot, because I am unique, timeless, extraordinary, exclusive and one of kind.”

And so are you!

So walk like you own it, because you do.






  • Absolutely wonderful post! Love it love it love it! ❤️

  • I grew up with a step father who would point his finger in my face..get up close and laugh…really laugh at me. I just can’t get that image out of my brain….and my siblings chanting ugly bug ball at me

    • Unfortunately the scars are hard to heal. But you most also understand that this insults came from a place of pain and suffering. A person who is happy and satisfied with themselves would never bully another person. The worst part is when we allow ourselves to become victims of victims. Because they are also victims, victims who are acting like bullies. Do not allow their behavior and actions to keep having power of your wellbeing. You are an adult now, you can realize and reason with yourself that what they said is not true. It is only true if you believe it is.

  • But, in your heart, somewhere you know, that you are not beautiful and it bothers you. It bothers you when you are rejected. It bothers you, when you are talented, but you have to try so hard to prove yourself. It bothers you, when you pass by people and you are not noticed. It bothers you, when you cannot market your product or yourself, because you are not ‘attractive’ and may not come out as genuine.

    Why? Because you don’t look like a certain kind.

    You just do not look the way you expect yourself to look. You think you can do something about it, but you can’t. It shatters your self esteem. You cannot face yourself in the mirror, forget about facing the world. It’s true. It hurts. It bothers you. There’s no rationalization.

    • Hi Krish,

      Thank you for your comment. Your arguments are very real and they show a perspective that it´s actually widely shared by many. You´re not alone in thinking the way you do, but that does´t necessarily mean that it´s the right approach. In your comment you mention “others” a lot. Like you´re seeking other people´s approval and recognition, and their rejection is what hurts you. This is the first BIG mistake, seeking external approval. Like if “they” know better than you do, as if their perspective is the most important one. Why? Why are you seeking so much external recognition? Why do you feel like the world has to acknowledge your physical beauty, when in fact the vast majority of the world has been manipulated into perceiving a certain type of looks as beautiful. I´m just going to put a small example here, but have you ever seen model castings? They are filled with beautiful looking men and women who are rejected a million times over the smallest flaws. Would you say that they´re ugly? Most likely no, and they might feel like they´re horrible because they´ve been rejected, but they are being rejected by very close minded people who are seeking a pre-determine look. These are the people who are in charge of putting models on the cat-walk and on the covers of magazines to make the world notice what is the perception of beauty that should be stablished in the world. This is not what beauty is, but what we´re are programmed into believing what beauty should look like. Man kind are sheep, we find it very hard to think for ourselves, we get lazy and want other people to do the thinking for us and that is how we fall into the trap, especially the “beauty” trap.
      Socia media is another area that has negatively affected people´s self-esteem, by constantly needing external approval for our every action, move and look. But who are these people whose admiration you need?
      The only one that needs to approve and accept yourself is not the external world, but yourself.
      You say you don´t look the way you expect you should look. On who are you basing these expectations on? An actress a model? and why are you expecting to look like them? Because they are admired by others? Then we go back to ground zero, seeking other people´s admiration.

  • Hey, I’m sorry, you’re right. We are all beautiful. I just lack self esteem.

    • Jus stop needing other´s people approval, you need to work on your confidence and stop using other´s as a rule to measure your physical looks or anything for that matter. You´re your own self, feel pride in that instead of shame and rock it, because there´s only ONE you in this world.

  • What a great artical. You’re right, you are so right!

    Sometimes I think, maybe If I’d tried harder I could accept and love myself. My body, my face. Just the way it is – with fat, cellulite, pimples and wrinkles…
    But there’s two biggest problems getting in my way.

    Fist – I wanna become a professional singer. My dream is composing music and performe it on stage.
    Also, I want to try myself in modeling.
    And If a singer doesn’t have to look a certain way (but, I must say, It’s better to look “beautiful” for your career in that industry), model should be at least very slim.

    And second – I fell in love with person who is considered handsome, and he knows it. It made thing so much harder for me.
    Of course, I totally agree with you. I don’t want to be viewed as an object of desire. I don’t want the attention of someone who cares solely about what I look like. But I just really want to be beautiful in eyes of someone I like that much. It’s drive me crazy. I’m so scared of silly comments like – “he’s way out of her legue’ or ‘he could’ve done better’.

    I know I should stop caring so much about what others think, but it feels impossible for me right now…

    P.S. I’m sorry for my English! Not native 🙂

    • Hi Elena, I completely understand where you´re coming from. I understand that physical beauty can open many doors. as unfair as it might be its true, but then again there are other factors as well. I work in digital marketing and every day I see millions of blogs, many of which are run by women who would no be considered beautiful, and yet they make a living out of their looks. Many times is not about how you look, but how you portray yourself. For both careers, you could totally make it. Besides, I don´t know if you´ve seen many of the photos of current famous singer before they were famous? they look completely different.

      Regarding the man you like. If he´s too much into physical looks, is that really the kind of guy you want to be dating? Look at Hugh Jackman and his wife, she´s like 17 years older than him, and she´s not what many would consider beautiful, but I bet she has a billion dollar personality, because those too seem to really hit it off.

      I hate having to use celebrities to get a point across, but I see it sometimes necessary to use as an example.

      The thing is that your looks can give you a little push on several aspects, they can get your foot on the door many times, but then comes the rest and it´s not just about physical looks. Especially in a relationship. Good looks might get you the handsome guy or the beautiful girl, but after a while the looks sort of fade away and not because of time etc, but because you get use to seeing the person so much, that you really do overlook the physical appearance, and then personality kicks in, personality amongst other important things.

      And don´t worry about the English, it´s not my native language either and I kind of suck at it.


      • You’re absoulutely right again.

        And I understand it all. But it’s just so hard to accept and move on, you know.
        Sometimes, when it’s a good day and I’m in a good mood, it feels like it doesn’t matter anymore.
        I just want to work hard and make my dreams come true.
        But there’s a bad day too. When I’m depressed and despaired, haiting on myself, and my crush saying he’s idial type is someone with long black hair, beautiful legs, athletic body, cute and sexy at same time and that’s totally definitely not me. And I hate it like I hate the fact I care too much about his goddamn idial type. (I’m sorry, hope it’s not too rude)

        But I feel like there’s no another way to like yourself except for….like yourself.
        And I will work on it. Cause It’s so silly to waste your time and energy to all that hatred, right?)

        Thank you very much for your artical and your answer.
        And your English is great, you don’t suck at it! 🙂

  • Thanks.
    I’ve always considered myself ugly. I can’t, sometimes, look at my flat nose bridge, my slightly protuding frontal teeth, and my overall face having no ‘definite’ shape in the mirror. My confidence fluctuates.
    Nevertheless, I sometimes take pride in ‘earning’ that self esteem what some people are lucky enough to be born with.
    “I feel sorry for those people who have such a repressed mindset that inhibits them from seeing further than what someone had told them to see”

  • I loved this article!!
    I feel all I want in life is to marry someone with your point of view! Every man I date watches porn and loves instagram models. I feel like I can’t begin my journey of self love when I’m with a man that doesn’t share these thoughts because the thought of him constantly thinking about how beautiful other people are comparing me to them is heartbreaking. I have no idea how to just stop thinking these thoughts

    • There are men like that out there. They’re just not common, but they do exist, so don’t lose hope and don’t settle for anything less than you’re worth, and that is not determined by your looks.

  • why is ist so important to think that you are beautiful I’m not but I’m ok with it I have very few qualms with the way I look and I don’t think I’m ugly, I just don’t think I’m beautiful.

    • You’re actually right on that one. It’s not important, people make it seem like it’s important, but it actually isn’t, it matters how you feel.

  • Your Article is Great!
    I always feel when people don’t compliment me or notice me. I am uncomfortable with my skin tone because in my country people have this stereotype about beauty that being fair is beautiful otherwise your the ugly person and no one will marry you. And I’ll be like why I look the way I am.
    But your article just gave me this huge self-esteem. Thank you so much!

    • I am so happy to hear that my article made you feel better. I know that it can be very difficult fighting the beauty stereotypes that are so deeply engrain in our minds. Regrding the color of skin I find it so incredible that marketing strategies promote light color skin, however, at the same time they promote a tan. So the world ends up having darker-color- skin women using bleaching products to make themselves whiter, but white women end up spending hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in tanning lotions and sun-beds to get their skin color darker. Sometimes it seems like at the end of the day women of any skin color feel bad about their shade. So wouldn’t it be better to just enjoy which ever skin color you were born with?

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