MIND

The Negative Side of Positivity

The trend of positivity has been booming for some years now. Social media is plagued my comments and images urging us to be optimistic and positive. We want to surround ourselves only my optimistic and positive people who can inject us with that shiny aura they seem to posses. But we´re obliging the negative side effect this can have.

It is actually frown upon to talk about problems, misery and anything that can have a connotation of negativity because we automatically label this as bad and so it should be avoided at all cost.

Nevertheless, this wave of positive thinking, positive attitude and positive everything has a negative side effect no one is talking about. What are you doing with your negativity and negative emotions?

Most people tend to view things as white and black. Positivity is white and negativity is black. White is good and black is bad. Positivity brings pleasant feelings while negativity brings discomfort. When actually there are a lot of shades of gray that are neither good or bad, they just are. But it´s hard for us to comprehend this because of our innate necessity to label things as good and bad.

Us, the human species, will do everything is our power to avoid discomfort because discomfort doesn’t feel good. But we forget that discomfort is necessary for growth, change and learning.

It is actually fundamental that we feel our pain and understand our negativity so we can know where it comes from. Those unpleasant emotions are trying to tell you something, something you need to hear, something you need to address and something that you need to fix.  We need to understand our pessimism and negativity so we can find a way to eradicate them from the root and not just cover them up with temporarily positivity that is just makeup for the mess we hold inside.

You don´t eradicate a parasite from your intestines by being optimistic and positive. The parasite wouldn’t care less about your positive thinking; you might feel better about having a parasite but this won´t stop it from killing you slowly or at least making you sick. Same goes about negativity and negative emotions. You can´t cover them up with positivity, because they will still hurt you. You need to acknowledge them, accept they´re there and find the right medication to eradicate it. Afterwards you´ll feel a lot better knowing you no longer have a parasite and your positivity will be longer lasting.

Positivity is where we rejoice but negativity is where we grow, change and learn. I´m not saying that to grow you need to complain about everything and be miserable. No. It´s not about rejoicing in negativity for growth, but in listening to the negativity and addressing it in a positive and healthy way. It´s a paradox.

Modern society´s obsession with positivity is starving ourselves from personal growth and I can´t deny the possibility that it might also be increasing the statistics of depression. We´re so obsessed with feeling good that we succumb under instant gratification and forget to work towards a bigger goal, we forget about fixing our broken selves or about making peace with the past. Because that involves pain and discomfort.

So we bury our demons, our parasites deep inside and let them come out to haunt us from time to time, sometimes when we least expect it.  They´re there every step of our way until we stop hiding behind all that positivity bullshit and actually face what´s haunting us.

Negativity is part of the duality with which we have to live and we shouldn’t ignore simply because it feels bad.

Listen to your negativity. Where is it coming from? Past trauma? Abuse? Self doubt? Low self-esteem? Illness? Incorrect believes?

Go to the core, if there´s a cure, find it. If there isn’t, then you can open the door to positivity.

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